NeW yEaR nEw Me

Well I bid farewell to this past year of all the drama and crap that happened.
Tomorrow is the start of a new year.
2010 oh what will thee bring me ??

I am reinventing myself.
Getting a whole new makeover.
Turning over a new leaf.
Getting married.
Saying I do.
Changing my last name. FINALLY.
Changing my hair color :)
So bored with the old stuff.
Getting more tats.
Kids footprints
Dallas Cowboys Star :)
Turning 27.
No more kids for us.
Gavin will be 4 in 2 days.
He's FINALLY potty trained :)
That was all me of course.
Now onto new and better things ahead.
Forgetting the old friends that dont matter.
Moving forward past old friendships that are no longer there.
Getting in shape.
Losing this baby weight :)
Picking out a dress.
Picking out flowers
Decorations.
Blue
White
Yellow
Yellow Roses.
Bridal Party dresses.
Tuxes
Flower Girl
Ring Bearer
!!Income Taxes!!
D will be 26..

And that's just the first 3 months.

Cassidy will be 2 in April.
Summertime
Sawyer 1 in July.
Party party party planning.
Halloween
Costumes
Pumpkins
Candy
Thanksgiving
Turkey
Dressing
Mashed Taters
Gravy
Christmas shopping
Toys
Clothes
Presents
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day
Opening Presents
Wrapping paper Everywhere.
New Year's Eve

Then all again the next New Year :)

Brrr...

So we weren't able to go to my dad's or anywhere for that matter for Christmas. The kids were sick and throwing up and no one wanted to take the chance in catching whatever it is they have. Which is totally understandable. I would not show up at anyone's house sick. People who do that are so horribly inconsiderate. We haven't really been too well since Thanksgiving when we ended up getting what my sis in law had. :( The weather keeps changing from warm to cold and it totally sucks when you're trying to get over something. I was up all night last night with Cassi, well about every 2 hrs changing a poop diaper. Hey I'd rather it be that, than her puking like she had been. Now today she is running a fever :( Not sure how high but she's burning up pretty bad or was before we gave her meds, which still isnt helping that much, poor girl :(

On the other hand, the snow on Christmas Eve was awesome :)) My best buddy Richard came over with his sister and nephew to hang out. We played games and lit a fire in the fireplace and had a pretty awesome time. I had fun anyways and Cassi made a new friend lol.. It's supposed to snow AGAIN tomorrow and thursday :)) I am super stoked about that and cant wait to see what happens. I just hope it stays cold and stops getting back up in the 70's til the spring time..

Sickness

So we're all sick STILL.. It's 2 weeks today since I've been sick. I just dont understand why it's still lingering after so long. D is just now sick after all this time of me and 2 of the kids having it. At least the baby is well which I am so very thankful to God for. I just hope we are all well and good before Christmas which is 2 weeks from today.

SICKNESS LEAVE OUR BODIES AND THIS PLACE IMMEDIATELY!! YOU HAVE BEEN EVICTED!! LOL

Christmas To Me:

I LOVE Christmas time. I believe it's the BEST time of the year. Others would disagree bc of all the statistics of suicide around the holidays. {What's up with that anyways?? Why do ppl kill themselves more around the holidays?? I just dont get it. There's nothing in life that would make me kill myself.}

Back to Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. I take big offense to when ppl put xmas, bc it's taking Christ out of Christmas. Some ppl do not see it that way but I do. I grew up in church and Christ is my Savior and that's what Christmas IS about. The birth of Christ. Some can say "Well it started as a pagan holiday." That may be, but those were called other things like the Romans celebrated winter solstice or Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, festival of Sol, the invincible sun god. or u can click this link that will send u to the history channel video on the history of Christmas 

http://www.history.com/video.do?name=christmas&bcpid=2647858001&bclid=1675979322&bctid=1586348684


I LOVE how families get together to celebrate and give gifts. I LOVE seeing the look on my kids faces opening their presents. We have a new addition to the family this year. Sawyer who will be 5 months old 2 days after Christmas. I cant wait to see how Christmas turns out this year.

Thanksgiving

I cant believe it's here already. I am super excited to eat the delicious food :) YUMMY.. I am thankful for all the ppl in my life and cant wait to see some of them on Thanksgiving :) We are doing our own thing for Thanksgiving and thankful that I dont have to sit at a crowded table or on the floor to eat :) My cousin is in town from England where she now lives {and she's my inspiration for my love of photography and I have to say is THE BEST photographer I have seen}..

fRiEnDs: WHAT ARE THOSE??

THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT 1 PERSON IT'S ABOUT EVERYONE!! DONT SAY YOU'RE MY FRIEND THEN ACT LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!! BC YOU'RE NOT!! NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE!! YOU NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS!!



These days all I hear are excuses to why ppl dont come over and hang out. Mostly that they are sorry they had other things planned BLEH BLEH BLEH!! WHATEVER!! and what I have to say to that is LIAR!! I guess that now that someone is married they are too good to hang out with us sinners since we live together and have been for almost 5 years now and still NOT married!! But what I have to say to that is "Stop acting all holier than thou bc YOU WERE once living with someone AND having sex AND NOT MARRIED" and still living at home with your parents.. WOW someone that is coming close to being 30 is still living at home.. WOW and you act like you're better than me  ?? I find that hilarious!! I mean come on now.. would u really even be married if your parents didnt basically FORCE it on you.. I will say this once and one time only as I do NOT repeat myself.. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU YOURSELF WERE DOING THE SAME THING JUST A COUPLE MONTHS AGO!! 


I am totally sick and tired of ppl thinking and acting like they are better than others. Jesus himself hung out with sinners. DERR you would know that IF you really read the Bible. 


I am sorry for things that I havent been able to do, BUT like I said Im not the one to repeat myself. I apologized, but if you still hold that grudge then I guess 
a) you really arent that great a friend
b) you really arent that great a Christian like you pretend to be
c) you cant accept the FACT that we cant get our truck fixed {not an excuse we just dont have the money right now and I was not going to risk my kids lives driving on the highway with an f'd up ball joint to go anywhere, but NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING is more important to me than my kids}



So with all that said I am DONE with these so called ppl that say they are my best friend and that keep writing that they miss me and want to hang out soon. You know I dont trust anyone with my kids and probably NEVER will. I dont trust anyone whole heartedly. My kids are MY GIFTS from God and Im doing the absolute best I can by protecting them from anything that could happen to them!!


The only person that I can actually put in the category of FRIENDS, is my sis in law Kim. I love her dearly and NEVER have had any doubts about her friendship to me. She doesn't care that I am living with someone and NOT married. BC WHO is she to judge me. and that's how she sees it. I LOVE her for who she is and she LOVES me for who I am. 

I dont pretend to be anything or anyone other than ME!!

And if you CANT accept that, then I dont need you in my life or my kids lives. Doesnt matter to me anymore after today!!


Those who are in my life, are worth being in my life. I make the choice of who is in my life and who isnt!!



I LOVE YOU KIM AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME AND MY KIDS.

I find this stuff funny

Something that I have come to realize:

Wisdom DOES NOT come with age. {whoever first came up with that is dead wrong.. there are sooo many ppl even older than me that still make the same mistakes OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! I thought we are smart enough to learn from our past mistakes to not make them again.. I guess that would make me naive to say the least. BUT hey I didnt say anything about being the smartest person on earth nor the dumbest. Bc I do realize that some ppl will never grow out of their immature ways. All good for them I guess. Not my call to judge others. I am not God nor do I pretend to be.}

i LOVE my life

I am a stay at home mom of 3 wonderful blessings/gifts from God. I am so very thankful about the way my dad raised me so that I too raise my kids to be respectful and thankful and to have manners.

I have to say yes being a stay at home mom is a full time job bc you have to keep your eye on your kids 24/7 basically unless they are sleeping. Unless you are like me and have to check on your kids several times at night to make sure they are ok, which is what I think a good parent should do..

BUT I do have to say I feel so completely alone even with my kids here. I dont get out and socialize EVER. Havent been away from the kids since my first son was born, ALMOST 4 YEARS AGO NOW!! And yet someone who "says" she is my bestie (best friend) I havent seen since my last son was born which is almost 4 months now. Not that she doesnt have a life too, but I keep inviting her to come over and she never does. I guess I dont need to sweat the small stuff bc I do have other friends who actually do come over and hang out with me.



Well anyways.. I wouldnt trade my life now for that single life, or the life where I had an a-hole of a boyfriend and nothing to do but drink to drown my depression even more.. bc really is that all there is to do?? go out clubbing and drinking?? bc that's all I hear from almost EVERYONE on facebook is they are going to the club or drinking it up.. I mean SERIOUSLY?? What's the fun in all that stuff..

Our Apartment

It's lovely or rather it was before the new management and owner. We never had any of the problems that we do now. It poured down rain here tonight and our roof is leaking yet AGAIN!! They "supposedly" fixed it but it's leaking in the same spot that it was before. I am getting so irritated about all this bc then it gives them an excuse to be in my apartment. and I ABSOLUTELY HATE PPL BEING IN MY APT HATE IT!! phew got that off my chest. Just last week a pipe burst between my floor and the one below {where the biotch of a neighbor lives} and her apt ended up being flooded, well her bathroom did anyways and the 1st floor apt was completely in ruins. They have to replace the kitchen and bathroom in that one. HORRIBLE I say.. Dont get me wrong the manager is AWESOME. She's about family and community, but it seems like since she's been manager here, there have been so many things go wrong.

When she first got here, she was a complete BITCH!! She came in my apt bitching about there being clothes on the floor, and how can I live like that and have kids living here etc. Even said if it doesnt change {me being 6 or 7 months preggo couldnt do too much}, she would report it to the proper authorities. I mean come on now, what I really wanted to say was "Are you going to clean this place for me?? or hire someone to do it bc i sure cant being as far along as I am".. But ever since derik talked to her after that she has been nothing but nice. She even comes up here with the maintenance guys if they need to do work on the apartment since I dont like men in my house without my man being here. Makes me completely nervous. Not that Im saying every guy wants me or nothing, I just dont trust ANYONE that I dont know and Im not going to chance anything happening to my kids either.

Well anyways they fixed the pipe last week, now our roof is leaking yet again. So we're going to have to write out ANOTHER work order for them to come back up here AGAIN!! It's making me crazy.. I just wish they would fix it right the first time. IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK??

I dont think it is at all.

Everything I am Thankful For

I am so very thankful to God first of all for all these beautiful and wonderful days with my children and my fiance and my family.

My Fiance: We have been together for almost 5 years now.. We've had our fair share of ups and downs but have managed with God's help, to make it through..

My Kids: Gavin: he has taught me ALOT about patience. He will be 4 come Jan 2nd and he is a Brat with a capital B and is so frustrating at times, especially since he still isnt potty trained UGHHH..

Cassidy: Our only princess.. She is very sweet natured and if anyone's lap is available she wants to cuddle. She will be 2 in April and growing up too fast :( She learned to walk at 9 months and doesnt say much besides 'mama', 'dada', and 'bubba'.. BUT when she does have something to say she sure makes her voice known..

Sawyer: Just born this year in July is our last baby {hopefully since I did get my tubes tied}.. He is very sweet.. Doesnt really cry unless he is super hungry or has a dirty diaper.. He doesnt even cry in the morning if he's awake and Im still asleep.. He always has a smile on his face whenever me or daddy look at him. He's been laughing for a while now..

My dad: I believe he did the absolute best he could in raising me and my lil bro.. We have turned out pretty good for the most part. {except maybe the whole bad temper thing but other than that we're pretty good ppl}.. He is an awesome dad and has always gotten me most of everything that I ever wanted.. He was still in high school when I was born and I give him props for taking care of his responsibility, unlike most guys that age would've just walked away and not looked back {still happens today and is very sad}.. I love him and have always looked up to him for his work ethic, and never letting us go without. He always told us he loved us so that we would never forget it. He did his best and I applaud him for that. I just wish he would be around more for my kids, he works TOO much, but what can I say that's what a police detective's job does is require them 24/7 if need be.

My mom: Very outgoing which I have always loved that about her. She can befriend ANYONE.. She is very beautiful, kind, caring, loving BUT can also be very judgmental about things.. Maybe opinionated is a better word for it. She ALWAYS has something to say. ALWAYS. It's a good thing and a bad thing. I love her for all she's done for me, derik and our kids.

My SIS {in law} Kim: She is the BEST friend EVER. An awesome mom of 4 {my nieces and nephews}. I wish I could be more independent like her. She is the strongest person I know and I dont know how she does it with 4 kids and hasnt lost her mind yet. She has always been there for me and supported me on my decisions. She loves me for who I am. Gives the BEST advice at the right time that I need to hear it. She is more like a sister to me than just an inlaw.. She is the sister I never had since I am the only girl. I miss her tons since she lives about 3 hrs from me and wish I could see her more often than just a couple times a year. I just wish she knew how much she means to me and that my kids LOVE her to death and miss her bunches too..

Monday Monday

Soo.. my first post.. Well lets see..

Today was kinda crazy. A pipe burst in the wall of my apt which ended up flooding the 2 apts below me {i live on the 3rd floor}. They had to replace the pipes which took ALL day, which I wasn't too pleased with them running in and out all day long, kinda annoying. Plus living in an apt where I do the maintenance ppl dont hardly speak english, which can be very annoying at times, bc I sure as heck dont speak spanish nor should I have to. back to the subject at hand.

When they first knocked on my door, the manager and the maintenance guy that is, I was thinking the manager was coming up here to say something to me bc my downstairs neighbor has been nothing but a pain in my butt ever since she moved in. She had come up here 4 times within a month {once a week I'd have to say}, to complain to me about how annoyed she was getting with the kids running around.

The first time she came up here she said all the vibration from what was going on up here knocked the mirror off her wall and it broke. I have to admit I lmao when she said that, bc she even brought the mirror up here to show us it was broken. Like we were going to pay for it or something. I mean what did she think was going on up here?! That we were having some kind of party or something?! I don't party anymore, I do have 3 kids derr!! The second time she came up here was actually her daughter {yes she has a kid, so it's not like she doesnt know how they act} and her daughter asked that we keep the noise down bc her mom had a horrible migraine. I said ok whatever.{or actually my hubby dealt with this the first 2 times so far}. and next thing I know is she's blaring her music and vibrating our windows and furniture! The third time she had come up here was for the noise yet AGAIN!! And again my hubby dealt with it and said sorry we'll try to keep it down. Ok so he DOES NOT and I repeat DOES NOT like confrontation bc of his temper and how he grew up, so he basically just says ok whatever we'll try to keep it down. I told him "Next time she comes up here I am going to deal with it" and I am one of those quiet type ppl that just lets ppl take advantage of me bc I am a nice person until u screw with me or my family and my friends! So of course she here comes another time to knock on the door. I dreaded opening the door, but hubby told me to just deal with it, so I did. I opened the door and I told her "Look I have 2 kids up here under the age of 4 that run around and that's the chance she takes moving into an apt" She told me that I need to be courteous of ppl below me and that was a total shock to me bc she does nothing but come up here once a week to complain about my kids running around! They are KIDS that's what they do!! She told me straight up that I NEED to have them sit down or something bc the noise is really getting old and starting to piss her off. I told her once again "Well that's the chance u take moving into an apt and Im not going to tell my kids to sit down bc they are kids and if she doesnt like it then she needs to complain to the office and stop coming up here bc it's really starting to annoy me!!" There I said it and finally stood up to someone. She said she already had complained. but obviously the office cant do anything about the kids running around. and I told her that I've already tried to be nice by not saying anything about the music blaring EVERY day and vibrating my furniture and that my kids cant lay down and take a nap bc of it, and they cant, that's how loud she plays it. and she said, "I only do that bc I get tired of hearing the kids running around all day long". and I said "Well I dont know what else to tell ya except for stop coming up here and complaining bc it's getting old" {and obviously NOT accomplishing anything} and I went to close the door and she kicked it or punched it back in on me, either way the door flew back in on me and hit me in my wrist and stomach and this chick just better be glad I am not preggo bc I would have whooped her butt {other choice words but no need for that now}!!

So back to my story. I believe if you are just vindictive like that and hateful towards anyone it's going to come back to bite u in the butt! You reap what u sow!! and What goes around ALWAYS comes back around in some form or fashion!! and when they knocked on my door this morning to tell me what was going on, I had to laugh to myself a little bc I knew when they said her bathroom was ruined it was bc of how she treats others. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU!! That's my motto. I do treat others well even if they treat me like crap. You should take a look at my childhood to know that!! I am sweet and honest and LOVE all. No matter who you are. I believe EVERYONE deserves a chance! and that we should forgive quickly and not dwell on the past bc we can not change what's already happened.