The past 2 years in a nutshell...

It's been 2 long years since my last post. Almost forgot about it. Where to start?? 

• One of my best friends was murdered by her neighbor's crazy ex baby daddy bc she was trying to help her neighbor get custody of their daughter. The guy then killed himself after executing my friend in front of her kids. Very hard to get over losing such a positive person in my life. LOVE you Shana forever! May 20, 2011.
• Sept of 2011 I found a lump in my armpit. Figured it was from having the flu for 3 weeks (or at least I thought it was the flu bc I was horribly ill) Waited til Nov and went to one hospital and they said it was a swollen lymphnode and gave me antibiotics for it. They didn't help.
• Evicted from our apt in Nov 2011 and went to live with a so called friend! She caused too much drama and tried to kick us out the day before Thanksgiving. None the less I did what I had to do to stay til we could find our own place.
• Dec 1,2011 we moved to our house where we still are today. Christmas was ok. 
• 2012... May came and it was 1 yr of Shana's passing. Crazy drama with all that. 
• Finally had gone to the doc in May and they sent me to a community clinic which ran tests and told me it wasn't cancer but they couldn't figure out why my lymph node had swollen up to the size of a tennis ball. They biopsied it in July and no cancer. (thought I was in the clear) 
• My lymph node wasn't healing so went to Parkland and was admitted the 4-6 of Sept. Had another biopsy and got my results on Sept 8 that it was in fact Breast Cancer! Very upsetting time for me and my family. Had my doc visits and chemo started Oct 20. 
• Invasive Ductal Carcinoma stage 3c triple negative Breast Cancer. (Look it up it's rare)
• Thanksgiving and Christmas were great! We were beyond blessed from perfect strangers! Love was here and God made sure we were taken care of!
• 6 rounds of chemo and I finished on Feb 5. Thought that's all that they were going to do but NOPE. 
• Radical mastectomy of my left breast and 29 lymph nodes. Results were that 6 were positive and 23 negative but since then I've been told none outside the ones already affected, were positive! Seems to me they don't know what they are doing. A little irritating but so glad I made it through it all. 

FAMILY IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME

As of recently, my bro and sis in law got their kids taken away by CPS and given to my dad as long as the case is open. I watch my niece and 2 nephews while my dad is at work and boy is that stressful with 6 kids altogether. I love them with all my heart but man they sure know how to throw some tantrums. Before all this happened they did whatever they wanted to. But now here's hoping that discipline will straighten them up. I feel bad for these kids. Especially my 3 yr old nephew bc he doesn't talk and I seriously wish someone would get him tested for Autism. He has something wrong with him :( My 3 yr old niece cries ALOT and sometimes it's the whole time she is here. My 5 yr old nephew is a terror. ALWAYS trying to beat up on Gavin who is the same age. I'll say this my nephew gets a ton of time outs that's for sure lol. I really hope my bro and sis in law get their acts together and get their kids back. Failing a drug test as my sis in law did, is no laughing matter. You dont fail for no reason. I just wish she would admit she has a problem and get help for it!! 

MY FAMILY

Easter 2011

Wow I didn't even realize that I haven't written anything since June of last year :( Poo! I'll have to keep up with this more often. Tomorrow is another Easter Sunday and hoping to celebrate like I use to when I was younger and keep the tradition going with my own little family :)) I wasn't able to go get them any baskets though bc now that we live in a bigger place all of our money went to bills. I wont complain bc I LOVE our new place and can't wait for ppl to start coming over. Will try and post some pics tomorrow if I can find the battery charger for my camera :-\

The more I think about it the angrier I get!

It is so horrible what happened to my friend's cousin Felicia Burney in FL. She was 2 weeks away from giving birth to her 4th child a lil girl when she was stabbed to death by someone she knew. I just cant get it off my mind what happened to her. NO I do not know her personally but it has hit my friend's family really hard. They are totally devastated. The mom should have been getting ready for the birth of her child and deciding on a name for her little girl. But instead her family is grieving over the loss of an innocent baby and her mommy. I cant even begin to think what her family is going through. Nor do I ever want to have to experience something like that. People are just so evil in this world. They only think of themselves instead of the consequences. I got tears in my eyes just writing this. I pray for strength and understanding for her family that now has the job of raising her 3 young kids. I hope that the killer is caught soon, so that they get justice for Felicia and her unborn precious angel. Please remember to keep this family in your prayers. They need all of them that they can get.

9 BIG MONTHS

So I've recently gotten in touch with someone that was an old friend and the we have drifted apart the past year. I do miss hanging out with her and I know the kids miss her tons and her daughter. I feel bad for letting my emotions and imagination get the best of me. Hearing from another person that this "friend" of mine had the hots for my man and that she was just using me really got to me, bc it had crossed my mind before hearing it from this other person! Just being back in touch with this friend of mine, I feel very bad for what happened to make us not be friends anymore! I wish I could take it all back and that she was able to be there when my last son was born, like she was when my other 2 were born. Now that she's almost due with a little boy I am making sure that I'm doing all I can to be able to help her with what she needs. She is due in like 4 weeks and cant wait to see who her baby boy will look like :)

Standing for something

I have learned to trust in no one 100 % .. U can never lean on someone else for everything. People DO let u down for their own selfishness.. And I have learned here lately to stand on my own 2 feet bc even those u want to trust just lie so well it's like the only thing they can do. One lie after another and u trust that they are telling u the truth. I am so hardened that I do not trust anything that anyone says anymore. I know they say trust is the key to a relationship. BUT what if that trust is gone and will never be able to get it back ?? What do u do then ?? Do u throw 5 yrs down the drain and say FUCK IT I'VE HAD ENOUGH ?! Or do u keep on trying to work on the relationship hoping this person will pull their head out of their ass and realize that they arent worth being with anymore bc all they do is lie and treat u like a worthless piece of shit ?!

I need to know something!!

SOMETHING ??

ANYTHING ??

DO I KEEP TRYING ??

DO I GIVE UP ??

?!